Your future happiness is in your hands.
Why am I single? It’s a question many single women ask themselves. But for women who want a man who makes them feel great, sticks around, and holds you tight in his arms, stop what you’re doing right now and listen.
When it comes to dating advice, women need to stop waiting around for unavailable men!
The physically unavailable man is not in your vicinity or in your life. I’m not against long-distance relationships at all, but if the man you love lives in a different country (or even a different state) and you are living paycheck to paycheck, it can make seeing each other almost impossible. This 3000-mile-away guy might be the man of your dreams, but in reality, he’s only your fantasy.
If the two of you never plan date number two (or never even have date number one), he’s a “cyber soulmate.” Unless you want to spend the rest of your life cuddling with a body pillow, keep looking.
Then, there’s the emotionally unavailable man. They look like normal guys. They look like your neighbor. They could look like Burt Reynolds, your UPS guy, or the smoking hot dude from Tinder.
But how do you spot him? Here’s how to determine if the guy you’re dating is emotionally unavailable.
If so, cut your losses before you and your heart get all wrapped up in his thrill-seeking.
1. He stands you up.
This is one is easier to spot than an albino tiger in the wild, and I know it hurts. But be thankful that he did it on your first date and not when you’re waiting at the altar.
2. He’s full of excuses.
“Oh sorry. I was really busy” is his typical response to your text message three days later. Seriously? Just let him be.
3. He says, “I’m not looking for anything right now.”
When he talks, you need to listen — and don’t have a Hollywood script in your head that says, “Oh he’s going to want something serious he just doesn’t know me well enough yet. I just need to show him what he’s missing out on!”
Don’t play these games with yourself. At least he’s being honest with you.
4. He doesn’t make plans to meet you.
Because he always has an excuse of being too busy with his kid, is working too much, or that he had a stalker and is afraid to meet you. Either way, you want someone who takes time out of his day for you.
5. He’s a master of seduction.
These men are hard to find, but when you do find one, it is like your pants seem to fall off — like magic. Maybe even a little too quickly for your normal comfort level. If you are worried about this happening with Mr. Smooth, follow these three steps:
- Don’t do any bikini maintenance.
- Don’t shave your legs.
- Do wear your period underwear.
These methods are as good as wearing an uncomfortable and very effective chastity belt. If he sticks around without the sex, maybe he’s not so unavailable after all, right?
6. He has a bad temper.
He’s rude to servers, talks bad about his ex, and is bad-mannered in your presence. If someone is like this from the get-go, run for your emotional life before he crushes your heart with his mean-spirited demeanor.
7. He’s constantly on his phone.
This is a huge indicator that his mind is somewhere else. Those Facebook status updates can wait, especially when you’re out together on a date!
8. He only thinks about his wants and needs.
This is no fun, and you will end up being a doormat. Cut him loose while you still have your self-esteem intact.
9. He’s had many short-term relationships.
Sally two weeks ago, Monica last month… it’s a pattern that’s not likely to stop at you. Be careful with someone who is a serial dater.
10. You just know it.
You have a funny feeling. Your belly feels weird. The hairs stand up on your arms. You feel a tingling in your left pinkie. Whatever it is, listen to yourself. Most of the time you’re right.
This guest article was originally published on YourTango.com: Don’t Date Emotionally Unavailable Guys Unless You Want to Stay Single Forever